Seven years ago, I was a terrified mom about to enroll her first child into kindergarten. Walking into the school for kindergarten registration, my heart raced, my head pounded, and I became terrified. I filled out the paperwork with trembling hands, and then quickly left the building in a daze. I had never expected to feel that way. I didn’t understand what was happening.
The feeling did not go away as some said it would. It was more than just “first time kindergarten jitters.” I knew my baby didn’t belong in that school, even though that had always been the (my) plan. It was then that I began to hear the calling from the Lord to homeschool.
After many prayers, tears, and a summer of seeking His will above my own, I made the decision to homeschool. Even though it had never been my plan, and I was the most unlikely of people to homeschool, I knew that God had called me to this journey. I tried to run from it, and it had become clear that He was calling me. I could not run from it any longer. I took the leap of faith and submitted to His will. It was really difficult at first, but as time went by, it started to become easier, and it felt right. We were excited to be on this journey as a family. We were thankful that we obeyed the call and listened to God’s leading.
However, along those lines, something happened that I think is true of so many of us at some point on our journey. You see, I was under the impression that I was in charge (with my husband’s partnership) of my homeschool. When days became chaotic or the curriculum didn’t “feel” right, I would research and wonder what I was doing wrong. I would look at other styles, other curriculum, and other options, and think there was an answer to fix it. I would think that I needed to change things and then we would be back on track and it would be smooth sailing again.
Once I would try something new, things would get better for a bit, but then we would gradually get back off track again. Things would start to unravel. It was disheartening to say the least. Would I ever get this thing called “homeschooling” right? Or would I constantly be floundering and searching for things to fall into place?
There was so much information available, that I would always be distracted. At times I was living for the expectation of what things should be, rather than being content right where I was, and seeking Him first. (Not blogs, not facebook, but Him.) Seeking His will for our homeschool first, before being led astray by my own will.
It all changed when I realized that it actually wasn’t me in charge of my homeschool.
God had called me to homechool in the first place, and when I ran…He chased. When I stepped out in faith, He provided. He worked in me. He worked in my homeschool. How did I forget that so quickly? Had I forgotten how He had worked in me that summer before I started homeschooling? I said it was impossible and He made it possible. How did I forget this was all His plan to begin with? Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that He is always in charge.
I was not in charge.
When we let our humanness and ourselves get in the way of God’s plan for our homeschool, we stumble. When we look for answers everywhere else but Him first, we get lost. Yet, when we hang onto Him each step of the way and wait for His plans to unfold, fully trusting that His plan is always best, we are homeschooling in His will. And that is right where He wants us to be. Those are the times when we get it right.
These days there is just so much information available that I think that it can distract us from the truth about our homeschools. It can give us a false impression that we are doing this on our own. We think we rely on our own strength and talents.
Yet, God is truly in charge of our homeschools, and because of that, we need to cover them in prayer. We need to start each day with our children in the Word. We need submit to His will and rely on Him. We need not rely on ourselves, or what others are doing. We just need to trust Him. If He called us to this place, then He will supply all of our need.
When things start to get difficult, we need to run to Him first. When we have discipline issues, scheduling conflicts, or just exhaustion, stop and pray. Pray for Him to lead you. Seek Him. Spend early mornings communing with Him alone before the chaos strikes, and let Him lead each day.
Stop each day and remember who is actually in charge of your homeschool. It is the One who called us to this wonderful journey. So fully rely on Him, and simply let Him lead. Just like the scared mom that I was seven years ago, who sought His will and He provided, I must never lose sight of the fact that He is always in charge. Then, and only then, will I be successful.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
Now it’s your turn! Have you experienced anything similar to Karen? Leave your thoughts below.